1 peter 1.13-25

So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now.

As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

You call out to God for help and he helps—he’s a good Father that way. But don’t forget, he’s also a responsible Father, and won’t let you get by with sloppy living.
Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.
Now that you’ve cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your lives depended on it. Your new life is not like your old life. Your old birth came from mortal sperm; your new birth comes from God’s living Word. Just think: a life conceived by God himself! That’s why the prophet said,

The old life is a grass life,
its beauty as short-lived as wildflowers;
Grass dries up, flowers droop,
God’s Word goes on and on forever.
This is the Word that conceived the new life in you.

– 1 petros 1:13-25 (MSG)

a whisp of smoke.

last night my beautiful and unbelievably amazing mother made a comment to me that has been sitting in my gut. i haven’t really known what to do with it since last night and it has been bothering me. she said, “you’re bored aren’t you?”

let me set the stage a little bit. i’ve had one of the best worst years. there have been soaring heights and plunging depths. it seems that the weekend might’ve highlighted some of those shadowy depths. due to the cynicism of my lows i’ve been seeing things pretty negatively as of late, and last week basically set my life in an orientation of jadedness. so basically, i’ve been kinda blase’ about life.

now i know that this apathy is not the way to live. it has been hard to be in this place knowing that there’s another way. unfortunately, i really was not seeing a way out. then by the urge of my gut (perhaps a nudge of the Spirit), i picked up my Bible, which had been collecting dust for about a month, and cracked it open to everyone’s favorite book, Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes? yes that book which seems to be the origin of the “emo” culture. The writer, mysteriously known as the “Qoheleth” (Preacher/Teacher/Quester) was quite the whining, feely, apathetic individual. Traditionally scholars think it was Solomon, so we’ll just go with that. So this udderly wise Solomon basically couldn’t use his own wisdom on his life. so instead he was snarkey and melodramatic about the world. i so wish that i wasn’t able to identify with him. the crazy thing is that i have read only the first chapter there has been a great move in my soul. last night it was mom’s comment was the eureka for my current situation.

after reading the first chapter of that contemplative existential diary, i realized something. the writer was being rather extreme, but ultimately he wanted something more. things looked cyclical and mundane, but he wanted something more. and i must say that although i am not “emo” enough to whine about the winds never changing, i have wanted something more. the crazy thing is that if i would have been writing a journal the last few months, it might have looked like a copy and paste of Ecclesiastes.

the redemption in all of this craziness is that even though Solomon talks about our lives being like a whisp of smoke, there was something in the subtext that was reminding us that we are more than smoke. we are “under the sun” as the book says. we are riding the curl of that smoky whisp knowing that even if life is short, we’ve been exhaled by something greater than the monotony, something alive and exciting.

so the answer to my mom’s question was yeah, i’m bored with all “this,” but today my response has taken a different shape. i submit that yeah, i could be bored with all this, but instead i am choosing to be enamored by the mystery of how my smoky existence dances, curls, and rises from the mouth of an awesome life breathing God. even if i am a whisp of smoke. he breathed me and i’m his smoke ring in the world.

Moving from Isolation to Understanding Part 3.

Proverbs 18:1-2 says, “whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. a fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.”

well unfortunately i couldn’t get to part 3 yesterday, so here it is. if you don't remember, i spoke that moving from isolation to understanding was a choice, and friggin’ hard one at that. now i want to take a little time to talk about the second verse.

well, i will say honestly, as a person who has valued academics my entire life, seeing myself as a fool was brutal. but in accordance with the first verse, i am a fool. a fool is one of the strongest insults in Scripture; and foolishness and godliness never coexist. i found myself insulted by Scripture calling me a fool, then i realized that i am not as “godly” as i wish i was.

as a professional fool, i have let the expression of my own opinion become paramount to every conversation. in high school, i always wanted the right answer. i always wanted to debate and argue and fight with everyone about everything. i still retain some of these tendencies, but normally only when i am in "isolation mode." see, when i am by myself, who do i talk to and argue with, but myself? some of this self-dialogue is good to work out thoughts, but when it transpires in community, let’s just say that everyone gets hurt.

i once heard a great man say, “just because i have an opinion doesn’t mean i have the right to voice it.” it does not matter if i have all the right answers and all of academia is behind me. am i willing to place knowledge in front of relationship? will i allow my opinion to cause condescension or others to be hurt by my strong convictions? it is interesting that Jesus had strong convictions but he didn’t coerce others to buy into them. we don’t have to fight with others to find validation, worth, or recognition.

i ask many of these questions due to being in university for the 3rd time now. since being so inundated with school. honestly, i could easily be satisfied with only having books as friends. i admit this very hesitantly, but both in high school and most of my life growing up, my books were my friends. Or rather the characters in them were these friends. i fell in love with cosette, juliet, wendy, esmeralda, cora, and isobel (izzy). i was best pals with quasimodo, peter pan, aramis, natty bumppo, and of course, peter hatcher. my world has often been in the world of books and not in reality. i can argue with the book and they not argue back. but people, they are not that simple. despite the simplicity of books, i do not wish to remain in that place of un-reality, nor do i wish to retain the title of a fool.

this first hit me as a freshman small group leader at Liberty U. (PL for those who speak "Libertyese"). i was very “knowledgeable” of Scripture, which i guess lead my leadership on my hall to choose this heady freshmen to lead a group of guys. i kept thinking, "God, i don’t know how to do this." i was worried every week that i wouldn’t say the right thing or that i would just push them away with my thoughts.

then God taught me something in Jn. 13. he loved his own until the end. i decided that people had to be the most important thing in my life. and i exchanged my former friends for people like joe, jordan, bernie, josh, chris, marcus, eric, and others form dorm 6. as i began to attempt to love these people, i found that caring about them was the most important thing. “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” (John Maxwell). Stephen Covey said it like this: “seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” these two thoughts empowered by Jn. 13 blew my mind on how to live life.

this verse is an echo of these experiences for me. it reminds me that no matter how hard it is to be with people, that they matter more than anything. not just knowing them, but understanding them. to understand them, i have ask penetrating questions like: “what did that feel like?” or maybe, “why did you react like that?” these questions tell them, i do not want to just know their story, but i want to know the interpretation of their story.

understanding takes open ears and and open heart. i must weep with those who weep, celebrate with those who are joyful, and otherwise allow my emotions to be involved in knowing them. i know everyone bashes emotions, but i think that emotions reveal the truth in a very real way. this is why i cry when i laugh hard and more so when there is a loss. or why some punch holes in walls or curse at people (and sometimes God). my sense of reality is communicated by emotions.

understanding means that i am willing to do whatever it takes to figure the person out. it’s so covenantal. it’s like God saying, i know that in order for you to get this, i am going to have to send my son to experience this life so that you know i have experienced life so we may have mutual understanding. i mean isn’t that the point? i understand that God wants relationship and God understands how messed up i am without Him. understanding is like where the sphere of my life intersects with the sphere of someone else’s. those spheres then fuse together and share some sort of commonality. i want to live in that place. Martin Buber calls this place of shared relationship, dialogue. He also says that it is the truest way of life.

i look at Jesus and i see him talking to the woman at the well, understanding her completely. i see him always asking and probing those around him. i see him extending his sphere to others so that they can connect. the subtext of Scripture reveals him embracing understanding in all of his journey. my favorite is when he speaks to the men on Emmaus and he basically says, "have you not even attempted to understand me with all of the law and the prophets?" and then he explains himself. i find Jesus taking pleasure in knowing people are knowing him.

i love that in hebrew and greek, there can be dual meanings in the word “to know.” in some ways it means gaining knowledge, but often it also means being intimate (sometimes even with sexual connotation). i find myself asking if my dialogue is to know people or just to express my thoughts.

all this to say, that i believe the principle thing is understanding. acts 2 speaks powerfully of the work of the Spirit and it says that they spoke in other tongues, but that all that heard them were able to understand. i just wonder if the Spirit would light upon our lives in such a way that we lived with understanding, instead of coercing others to agree with us.

understanding takes me beyond isolation and sets me in the context of relationship. to be able to make connections with others not just on the tangible, but the intangible level will be indicative of a wise one. i want to understand and be wise and embrace the community and its judgments. even more so, i want to understand Jesus and be listening for his voice, looking for his face, grasping for his hand, so that i will be different. he understands me. and he understands you. and since i am hearing his voice, seeing his face, grasping his hand, he teaches me the knowledge of himself, which speaks and says, i’m not the only one he loves and understands. he understand and loves you. and therefore, i want to love you too. so i pledge to move from isolation to understanding, not because i am commendable, but because i am in him and being in him means being with you.

-peaks out.

Moving from Isolation to Understanding Part 2

Proverbs 18:1-2 says, “whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. a fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.”

so i ended my thoughts with selfishness, which is where isolation leads every time. seeking your own desire, takes no consideration for anyone else on the planet. unfortunately, i am not alone. i am involved with a community that has weight on how things should and should not be done. to my great surprise i realized something- without my community, there is little that i would know how to do, function, and even interact.

then comes the next verse to extrapolate on this thought of needing others. here i find myself in the company of fools, which is never easy to say, but it is true. there are many times that in my isolation i could care less about what my community says or thinks. instead i think that my ideas and thoughts are better than the majority of the world. in this moment i find myself in a pretty low place. my arrogance and pride is exposed and my godlike complex flourishes like a weed in a bed of roses.

i know that whether i mean to or not i manifest a godlike complex where i think the world revolves me. if i am god, then you know what, i don’t care about you or your life. thank goodness our God is not like us. if i am the center of the universe why would i try to understand you? why would i extend to you? why would i do anything but propagate my perspective on the world.

that was a few scary paragraphs to write, as i see the utter depravity of myself in it. thankfully, i have a choice in this situation. i do not have to live that way. i do not have to isolate myself. i do not have to be a fool. i do not have to express my opinion. i can choose understanding. i can choose community. i can choose wisdom. i can chose to care. i can choose to not be god. this comes as a huge relief to me. in the midst of the depravity, the truth confessed brings an understanding and experience of wholeness to my life, salvation, redemption, restoration (Jam 5.16).

Undoubtedly, this reversing of the way i want to live life is not easy. as i have forementioned, relationship is hard, community is harder, and selflessness is a task that is impossible without help from Jesus himself. to even train yourself to stop expressing your thoughts about everything and instead listening to others is a challenge. however, if you will stop and listen. i think you will begin to find a tenderness in yourself. you hear, listen, and then make a connection. some person you run across seems to be more different from you in every way, and then all of a sudden, you listen and see that they are just like you.

so it’s a choice, and only you can make it for yourself.

more to come on what is the result of moving from isolation to understanding.

-peaks out.

Moving from Isolation to Understanding Pt 1.

well it’s been about a week and a half that i have been pondering this tiny portion of Scripture; however, i just can’t shake it out of my spirit. let me begin by saying that i haven’t liked proverbs for years and don’t really have a good reason why, except maybe i thought that its pithy axioms about life were lower on the totem pole than the depths of the narratives of Scripture. well i was wrong, big time.

Proverbs 18:1-2 says, “whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. a fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.”

when i read this verse i was blown away. i can’t remember the last time Scripture spoke to me in such a candid way. i felt like Jesus himself whispered between the rustling of the pages. like i said, i have been just chewing on this thing wondering to myself what God is communicating to me. then it hit me - a move from isolation to understanding.

now for some, this is going to sound strange coming from me, but here’s some honesty: i don’t like being around people. i know many think that i am super relational or something, but i’m not. i have “trained” myself to be relational because i believe with all my heart that relationships are the principal thing in this universe, and more importantly, in our faith.

you can imagine that as i read this passage condemning my love for isolation, i was humbled by my guilt. honestly, i haven’t been too relational for a few weeks. i’ve been ebbing and flowing, so some haven’t noticed. and then i also isolated myself during that time.

anyways, the verse starts off by saying “whoever.” this immediately caused a sigh of relief as i realized, i am not alone in this struggle. we are all susceptible to the grim power of isolation. the word “isolation” here is not merely just being by oneself, although that is encompassed in the word. it also has hints of “being reclusive or divisive.”

when i read that, i was floored. reclusive…divisive…isolated…these are volatile words with nasty ramifications. reclusivity is probably my niche due to my ability to get overly obsessed with something and will focus solely on that one thing and nonething else.

divisive was bothersome, because this moved my thinking from simply thinking isolation is about you, to realizing its chain reaction towards others. division brings separation and separation negates relationship. when i isolate myself, i seek my desire and nothing else or noone else. that doesn’t sound like Scripture’s teaching concerning us all being members of one body.

the verse continues to say that an isolationist “breaks out against all sound judgment” here “breaks out” can sometimes mean “to make bare or uncover.” at first i thought how can you both of those ideas. then i thought well if i were to challenge or break away from the covering of sound wisdom/council - or as I think in this context - the community, then i would be revealing my true self to that body i was part of. my true self which is utterly selfish.

selfishness - the very antithesis of Christ’s life and example. i have been having serious dilemma thinking about how my tendency to withdraw from others leads to a self-serving and self-pleasing life, unlike my Savior’s.

this is getting long, so i will finish tomorrow….verse 2 to come.

-peaks out.