hush...

so i was in my car on the way back from an unfruitful gift returning trip and all of a sudden something hit me. 

i was just driving in my car, oh so gingerly not rushing to get back home, merely just cruising. i even took the back way home for a more meaningful experience than coasting along the concrete path called the interstate all the way home. in the midst of my return to suffolk, i was struck by this ridiculous song. something about it just clicked deep in my being. it's called hush by waterdeep. 

as the song continued i began to survey all that God has been teaching me. in the midst of my scorched places, i have seen new life, i have found more out about myself and about God. i learned about worship, i learned about longing. today, i stand before you completely and utterly moved in that scorched place. during this time period, i think God was trying to deal with me on a deeper level than i imagined. this level is sonship. earlier in the process i am undergoing i was reading in colossians 1. in that passage it talks about Jesus being the firstborn of all creation. well actually the antecedent is The Son. i began to read the entire chapter substituting all the personal pronouns with the Son. it was crazy. i began to see what happens and what is contained in sonship. it was beautiful. i didn't understand what God was trying to say then, but when i heard that ethereal voice expanse the space i knew that God was trying to get me to see that i am a son. 

at this moment of realization of being a son and this lullaby singing over me, i wept. this is the first time in about 38 days. i have been such an emotional deadzone, that this and that put together brought it all together. then of course it started to rain. in my state of being a son of God, i regained a childlikeness that has persevered. i began to think that as i was shedding tears in sheer amazement of sonship. God was raining or in my mind shedding tears as well for he knew that his son was coming home. it was an overwhelming experience and then tomorrow i am to celebrate that the Son resurrected. oh the wow. 

oh hush little children don't you cry. Jesus is going to die and bring us all back to life. here are the lyrics to hush, i hope it gives you a sense of sonship or daughtership: 

when you feel like the days just drone on and on and on 
and you feel like the nights are quickly gone 

and on the inside your heart is gaping wide 
and on the inside you feel like no one's on your side 
well, I Am

when you thought you could rest, but you found out you were wrong 
and there's another need another battle 
another one more thing that comes along 

and on the inside 
you hear the fall but you hate the falling sound 
and on the inside 
you can't pick another broken piece up off the ground 
well I know 

hush little baby don't say a word 
Daddy's gone and bought you a great big heaven to rest in 
He's bought it with blood and put the seal in your heart 
it'll give you the hope you need to get up and start again 

when all the things you thought you left behind are still hanging on 
and everything you try to do right ends up all wrong 

and on the inside everyone else seems basically fine 
but on the inside even they won't let go of the dead and cling to what's alive 
well I AM

- peaks out