quotable.

i just received this bookmark in a card from someone and it had an Emerson quote on it. 

as i read that simplistic, but lionized quote, i had an extravagant epiphany. i want to be quotable. maybe not necessarily in the way that my quotes appear on bookmarks and other paraphernalia, but quotable in the sense that people would repeat my thoughts and ideas because they considered them to be novel. honestly, i don't think that our thoughts are often avante garde as we think they are for all things are trite due to the fact that there is nothing new under the sun. that is a whole 'nother conversation that i will relish another day. but back to being quotable, how incredible would it be if you realized that your reinvention of a concept or maybe your phrasing of a principle, thought, or elaborate motif would be able to alter a person's conceived perspectives about life. what if your simple extrapolations about life's idiosyncrasies could change a culture or a nation. i think to men like martin luther king, who probable never imagined that his phrase "i have a dream" would mean much to anyone who was aside of his time and his cause. however, that phrase has survived the annals of time. i hope that i can be a person who can be so wise to concoct the correct words and speak them with such dignity and passion that people recall those things that are voiced, whether they agree or they deny the perspective. 

think, speak, write, quote others, quote yourself. 

- peaks out. 

hair.

so for some reason, i am slightly weird about hair. 

1st, i like changing haircuts as much as possible. i don't know of any reason except that it just brings change into my situation. i am a borderline neophiliac, so that probably has a significant impact on my hair obsession. in this case, i have to constantly garner myself from the attacks of others. people tend to say rather ridiculous things about my hair, or what is done to it. i once had someone told me that my hair communicated that i was passively rebellious. i am consistently amazed at people's ability to judge everything on appearance. 

2nd, i notice girl's hair. pretty regularly i look at girl's hair and think to myself, she is so pretty because of her hair. weird, i know, but my "uncle jesse" syndrome has been active in my life since i got a spike in like 3rd grade. this haircutting lady even gave me a bottle of green goo to keep my hair spikey. it was awesome. nonetheless, i think that we should really learn to look past the exterior of people and find out more about them. just today, i was getting the infrequent hair cut by a "professional" (i prefer people around campus), and she told me about her son and how often he was judged due to his crazy hair. she said something that was really cool. if you want to be avant garde, then you are going to be criticized. however, don't take their role and criticize them for their monotony, just appreciate their differences being different than yours. i guess she is a hair-dicing life guru of sorts. 

so, now i have a little defiance in my walk. i am faux hawked. however, if you don't choose this expression, i still like you and wish you the best. just get to know someone before judging the book by its cover. 

- peaks out. 

birthdays.

yesterday i turned 24. 

it's just bizarre. i don't really know what to make of birthdays anymore. they aren't like you are when you are kid with themes that range from zoo animals to G.I. Joe. then in college it is like block party when someone gets a year older. people you don't even know show up to your parties. it is crazy awesome cool. then you get old. and your party is so awesome it just being a dinner with your family and close friends. they all have their positive qualities. however, i think i always want all of them at once. i want a zoo party where everyone wears masks that they made with construction paper (which is animal shaped) and they have to make noises like their animal if they want cake. i want the mass party where so many people are there you don't know them all, and people don't know who is or isn't the birthday person. with plenty of food of course and ridiculous games. i want the dinner with family and close friends (even if the close friends are partaking 3 hours away). oh wait, i had the dinner with family and close friends. it was awesome. my friends participated from lynchburg, and various parts of the world by facebooking, e-cards, etc. it is awesome. i love people and so thankful for them in my life. 

happy birthday to me.

- peaks out. 

dialogue.

dialogue: the act of exchanging messages with another like party. or something like that. 

i have been realizing of late, that most people do not dialogue about life. instead they are bound to the insignificant verbal contribution to themselves. there is no sharing of valid concepts or truth in one's life with another. it is selfishly hoarded and monitored only for those who have a predisposition for conversation in isolation. there is no value when you have something alone. the same is true when talking. the value is not there unless you have another. this concept is obviously not lucid to the average person, who speaks to themselves as if they can talk and respond to their own questions. this is a lack of tension and a lack of conversation. dialogue only improves the thoughts which one might believe to be novel. jocularly, this is still embraced in theater most of the time where soliloquy abides. still yet, remember that even in soliloquy, that without an audience, it fails to attain worth. dialogue allows for disagreement, for perusal, for extrapolation, when you don't want the extensive thinking and communicating, the ability to sculpt words is not refined when speaking to oneself, for your banal language only becomes more venomous as it poisons your mind with repetition. however, honorable is he who engages with another, whose thought and communications are variegated and formidable to your dialogical monotony. embrace the challenge and the excitement of a conversation. fear nothing in that tete-a-tete, except that by virtue of your open elucidation, you will find yourself being examined both in word, syntax, and logic simultaneously, thus affording you the moment to accept the judgement and the discourse of your self-musings. an invitation into conversation, becomes an request into your personal essence. two is always better than one, both in life and in dialogue. 

- peaks out.

joy.

i heard an interesting quote today: "life is a single skip for joy." 

i am not exactly sure what to make of this, but i definitely think that it encapsulates what the human condition longs for. that is a greater sense of fullness and purpose. joy cannot only be attained when there is an overwhelming sense of perfection. it is not a mere situation of circumstance, but it is demonstrated only in the presence of fullness. there must be absolute unquenchable outflow for joy to be genuine. to think that life is a single skip for joy is probably true in some estimations. however, i am not sure if i enjoy the prominence joy is given. due to the above explanation, joy is still the outflow, not the source. life being found from a source is always relevant to humankind. a single skip. there again is an anomaly. a skip makes the reach for joy sound almost too brief, and maybe too playful. however, the brevity is definitely true. i think a little less jest about skipping might be more appropriate. joy is crucial for all people. so i guess we should skip to it. 

- peaks out. 

confession.

confession is good for the soul.

i am not sure who said that but they were definitely speaking truth. i have often wondered what exactly those words ramifications were upon a person, and recently i have been experiencing it firsthand. i decided that in this time in my life, i was going to confess my failings and my victories in my life to four intensely close friends. i know that this is a seriously hard thing for me to do, because i deal so much with things like acceptance, value, etc. telling people your imperfections basically gives them credo to judge and critique you. however, i have found that the freedom that is found in simple confession is echelons away from condemnation. there is something powerful about writing out your faults daily and looking at them knowing that you are always a work in progress. the intriguing thing about this process for me is that every time i see a weakness, i have been realizing that it is just an exploited strength. these open confessions have been able to lead me to living with a greater realization about how lies can distort my ability into weaponry against myself and others. i surveyed these things only to find that the energy it takes to hide our secret sins is depleting our life. instead if we release those things by verbalizing them to someone who can walk beside us into victory, we are able to capitalize on the life we can live. without all that effort in hiding and covering up, you end up getting grace and mercy from people because they see your honesty and genuineness and they embrace you instead of judging you for elevating yourself. 

this kind of confession brings one of the greatest joys to you that is possible. open and right relationships with others. open mouth, open heart, open love. 

- peaks out. 

little brothers.

every now and then i get this crazy thought in my head and ponder what it would be like without my brothers. 

i have two natural brothers. nic & john are their names. they are basically like peanut butter & jelly, totally different, but totally complimentary. each of them bring a great amount of joy to my life, and occasionally they accompany that joy with grief, but rarely so. they are probably the coolest brothers in the world, very few have such great humor and such awesome hearts. 

nic is only two years younger than i. this definitely lead to much tension to us when growing up, if i wanted to do something, he didn't and vice versa. unless it had to do with ninjas or super-heros, we always were on the same page about that stuff. our perspectives are very different. he is more rational, i am more abstract. he is more chill and i am more spastic. we are pretty much yin and yang about most stuff, but we definitely have a connection that no person can separate. i respect nic because he is so serving and so pastoral. always looking out for people. he knows mercy well and tenderness, and i love him as he is able to do about anything he puts his mind to. he is in radio right now and he constantly impresses me. sometimes i don't want him to know how much i respect him, but i do. i love that kid like crazy. 

john is seven year younger than i, five years younger than nic. he is the baby of the family and we all know it. john is only john to me, to everyone else, his name is harrison. however, that name is modified from Harry, Hare, JH, John Harry, etc, you get the picture. He is the kid which everyone wants to nickname. he is also eccentric like both nic and I, however i think the coolest thing about him is that he is just like me. and just like nic. he is like the perfect blend. he is excessive at times and thinks he is shafted because he is the youngest, but its all in his crazy perspective. he is not just rational and not just abstract, he is not just spastic, he is relaxed to the max. he just has picked up on both of us. the crazy thing is that he looks like me in uncountable ways. people have thought we were twins more times than i can count. he is in high school and i know that he is out of the box for that place, but i am eager to see him flourish at college. 

both my brothers are creative - nic plays like every instrument and is an exceptional writer, harry is a master pianist who is passionate about everything with music. i love them both like crazy and look to a day where we will all work in some capacity together. they are the studs and i am the luckiest brother ever. 

if you don't have brothers, you got shafted. 

- peaks out.

the poor.

today, i was in a public place when lo and behold i saw a sad sight. 

there were homeless people sitting on a bench. they looked sad, jaded, and discontent with their lives, i wondered if they disliked their lifestyle would they still sit there? 

so i have been pondering this for the last 23 minutes and 20 seconds. what does it mean to be poor? who are the poor? what can i do for them? how can i change their lives? 

these are compelling questions filled with argument and debate concerning wonderful things like politics (which i don't normally enjoy), which pit those for and against poor against each other. or perhaps the concepts of comparing the poor here in the US to the poor that i met while i have traveled 3 other continents. or maybe even thoughts flirting with the ideas of "pooredom" being about a state of mind, or a an intellectual battle pervading the minds of these three homeless people i saw instead of a struggle for material. 

i decided that first, i wasn't going to bring politics into it. second, i decided i would not compare people, that removes their personhood and makes them an object. so that leaves me with this idea that being or living poor is about a mindset. i had this extensive conversation with a good friend of mind about how he thought that being poor is a mentality. i am not sure if i agree totally, but here were some thoughts i had: if a person believes themselves to be poor by either what others say (or public policy), or if they compare themselves to other they see, they basically are basing their lives on others, and not from themselves. if this is the case, wouldn't that mean that even if you gave a person all the money in the world, they would still remain poor? maybe some just need a leg up? if we were to give to the homeless, however, when does that end? when does one realize that they are rich because they are alive and that they are rich because they value themselves and that others value them as well? when are there no more poor? all i can say is i don't really know. how can i?  

so my challenge to myself was - talk to these people the next time i encounter them and then perhaps i can understand more about all these things that i currently don't understand. maybe i will figure it out someday. 

- peaks out.

thankful.

today, i think to myself how the world lacks thankfulness, and i too far often join them. 

however, i resolve that i am going to be more thankful. you know some people get this idea of thankfulness that is due to a trip to a third world country, or they experience someone's life that is far less substantial (perhaps in comfort), than their own, but that is not what happened to me. i seriously woke up thinking, wow, it's great to be alive. what a privilege. it is intriguing to me why i would think this, i surveyed my current situation and saw so many things that are not going "perfect" or something close to awesome. but instead, i found myself valuing the people in my life, the places i have been, the experiences i have had, the house i live. it was just this ridiculous revealing to me about the beauty of life and its goodness that is in the world. 

i got curious and looked up some thoughts about thankfulness, wondering where i might have drawn this perspective from: what i found was momentous. through my thinking, i recalled that in koine greek, the word for thanks is correlated to the Eucharist. this is another word for communion or sacrament. and that's when it hit me. when i am communing with others, God, and the world and realizing their/His/its value, i can experience thankfulness. my thankfulness to them runs far deeper than the surface, but rather becomes a moment of connection, where i relate to them in all possible manners on and below the surface. meaning this: thankfulness is never about the external situation, but about the internal realization that good grace has been spoken. which is exactly what eucharist means: eu means good, and charist means grace. more thoughts on this can be explained in "what's so amazing about grace" by philip yancy (which i read about a year ago), but as i write this blog, i am brought back to his perspective on this experience of thanks. 

so thanks. 

- peaks out.

alternative reality.

sometimes i think to myself, my version of reality would be way different. 

i am sure that at some point and time in your life that you have imagined things were different than what they were. you came to some realization that the status quo was just not enough. one of my favorite things to see is when a child realizes the power of his alt. reality. you can see it the most clearly when coloring. that one little boy in the class that colors the sun purple and has a blue duck with a bill and feet the shade of green that is only suitable for st. patrick's day. it is intriguing to ask people how they would change the normal conceptions. i am pretty sure i have heard the craziest thoughts of people's alternate reality from everyone would be blind (secretly occurred because they wanted love to be blind) to things where everyone looks like you, as if they were your twin. 

that is another thing in the alternate reality - you would meet and greet with your doppleganger. i think that this is a way that you know that alternative realities exist, because it is said that everyone has a look a like somewhere in the world. what if your "twin" were to swap places with you. that would be cool. or maybe the alternative reality would have all water substituted for newspapers shreaddings. that would be kinda weird, but kind of cool. 

anyways, to think that there is another place that is better for you probably only exists in your mind, but at least it exists all. 

- peaks out

sweatpants.

okay, so for the most part wearing sweatpants is a serious mark against good judgment when in public. 

however, recently, i have been finding a lot of love for sweatpants. i don't know if it is the amazing drawstring capacity of them, or how they fall over my feet, but they are just special. please note that i am not speaking of the horrific sweatpants that you will see some wear, with the elastic at the bottom of them making their feet look like an aircraft carrier times two. i am talking about those great sweat pants you can purchase anywhere but walmart that are like loose and unelasticized. i actually never owned any in my teenage years or in the college years. i went through phase of liking lounge pants, however, that quickly passed as plaid pants just quite are acceptable for a 23 year old to wear. my best friend would always chill in his "cool" sweats and eventually i was given a pair. since then, i have been sold. i actually bought myself a pair recently. that wonderful cotton loose sweatpant. so comfortable, so loving, so friendly. and so much of this goodness (the sweats i have are extra large so they are huge, with increases their awesomeness). there is very few things that wins when the winter months rendezvous in our lives, except those sweatpants. 

be on the lookout for the old man sweatpants with the elasticization and do that person a favor, tell them how ridiculous they look and buy them a good pair (i recently escorted my father into the awesome sweatpants club, thank goodness). 

chilling in my navy sweats. goodnight. 

- peaks out. 

stream of consciousness of this moment.

sometimes life is a jerk.

right now i guess i am experiencing life's little ideas of fun. it's like a bully that won't leave me alone. or maybe someone that won't stop picking on you. hmm, maybe it is more like being kicked in the head and everyone laughing at you. it just seems that everything is against me right now. people, situation, my future, nothing seems to be kind. and unfortunately, i have been acting out. i have not been kind. i have not been loving. i have been harsh. i have been critical and pessimistic. i don't really know exactly how to handle it all. there is so much going on. dear friends are moving on. i'm left here. stability is being shaken. i am the shaking one. people are dying. i have to navigate things without them. every thing's new. i don't know what how to do anything. the pressure, the weight is of epic proportions. i am not strong. i want to trust God, but it is so hard right now. there is nothing to help, nothing to soothe, nothing to heal. it is all just raw. again. unfortunately, this is something that occurs in my life a lot. i don't know why or what it means, but i don't think i have ever had the easy lesson. always the beast of a class, task, adventure, where i have to learn to overcome. like going up a mountain by yourself. i know that this is not true and that there are other people, but i am just blinded to them because of my poor perception. i need to look for the alternative reality that is there outside what i think. my perception is not reality. i am rejecting my perception for a better look. confidence that i can see. i will see. i will know. i am strong. i can abide. i can trek. i believe. i am going to have faith. 

- peaks out. 

cronies

crony: a close friend, especially of long standing

for some reason, i have been really thinking about my cronies. those people in my life that have been long standing friends and faithful comrades. i think about all the laughter, fun, discussion, roadtrips, music, and everything else that has been contained in this blog that i have mentioned. these ponderings are most likely not about my thoughts but about the people who elicit them. to all my cronies near and far, just know that you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. whether you are in AK, sitting in your apartment alone, or you are in TX with a wife and 1.5 kids, or maybe you are in Chicago, learning about marriage and seminary, in Winona Lake, putting your wife through school as you learn your dreams, in the ATL, dirtying up some dancing and youth ministry, in charlotte, starting a life with your new wife, in Hartford, trying to overcome the trials of life, in DC, praying and seeking, or maybe you are in Lynchburg, finishing your master's thesis, beginning a new dating relationship, learning where God is about to take you and the integrity you will need to make it,  trying to get into med school, newly married ready to graduate into missions, flying around drinking too much coffee, about to start a journey into non-college life after years of delay, newly engaged, or you have committed to a group of people to enjoy TV, food, and conversation about every topic imaginable. cronies, i love you all, near or far. you're always on my mind.

- peaks out

laughter.

i think that laughter might just be one of the greatest things ever. 

i laugh a lot. and i don't mere just snicker to myself, no my laughs are full of gusto. i normally throw my head back, shut my eyes, and smile so big that my cheeks end up looking like they have a winter's supply of acorns in them. when i am really laughing i get physical. i start hitting things, myself, and even others. you know those people who start to clap when they laugh, yes, i do that as well. i have many different laughs and each are for different occasions. 

i probably have about 3 different laughs. one is long and loud. one is high and two-toned. and one is tearful and almost silent. anyways all of these laughs are very funny and i know most people who hear my laugh, end up doing the same. i guess i make a spectacle of myself. not on purpose, but i do nonetheless. i love when other people laugh. 

my friends are the people who can probably get me to laugh the most. i have an incredibly awesome friend who he and i always talk to each other on the phone as if we are urban (although we are probably the saltiest crackers possible). another of my friends always makes me laugh because he makes things awkward. i never know what to do, so i nervously laugh. then there are those friends that from start to finish when you talk to them, you are rolling on the floor with splitting sides due to the magnitude of laughter.

i have never thought myself to be funny, but i do love a laugh. enjoy life and love a laugh y

ourself.

 

- peaks out.

LOL, i hate you.

okay, so i know that we are in a world of technology, however, some things are just ridiculous. 

LOL is one of those things that absolutely drives me up a wall. first of all, people use it more than um. second, i doubt it people are actually laughing out loud. so that would mean that they are lying. alright, maybe i am being a little harsh on lol, however, i have two friends that as much as i love them, they are lol junkies. the one uses lol to denote not only laughter but sarcasm. the other uses lol as an anything word. if she doesn't know what to say she says lol. so it becomes this whole i am going to lol as much i as i want. it's no being funny or cool. it is just laziness, plain and simple. to not use our brains would be foolish since each of us has bits ad pieces of wisdom. 

so stop your lying and come into the openness. "lol"

- peaks out

my problem is that i don't put lol, i put ahah. it is sorta become my "lol," sometimes you need to come into agreement with those around you by accepting them regardless what they say or do. welcome fellow laughers of out loudness. 

cloudy.

i think sometimes i like to describe myself in the sense of the weather.

i know that sounds rather insane that i could conjure up thoughts about myself in weather. however, i have also done this with colors as well. i like unique ways to express my current feelings. today, is a cloudy day. it is not bad or stormy or nothing like that, but it is a little cool and breezy. the clouds have kept the sun at bay, so therefore the warmth has not quite penetrated the clouds. 

i guess it is a good day since it is not stormy and tempestuous, however, i am hoping for a little more sunshine. i think that i need to catch some sun from people in my life, but it doesn't seem to be occurring. i am extremely hopeful that the sun will break through my cloudiness and that either the rain will come to refresh or the wind will blow me elsewhere. 

hoping for clearer skies. until then, my eyes are watching the weather. 

----------------

it is a few hours later and i can see nothing but blue skies. with the help of a friend and some incredible music, not to mention the cutest dog named Sophie, who i visited during lunch, i found sunshine again. it is warm here both outdoors and in my heart. i hope you have sunshine brighten your day. 

- peaks out.  (x2)

ode to a friend.

well i had a friend call me tonight and it pretty much encouraged me so much, that i had to document it. 

i was talking to my friend as i was on my way to a toga party. he said he was about to get going to a service called "the gathering." they share the Lord's supper and have awesome worship. well he told me on sunday that he wrote on a prayer card at church that he wanted God to rescue him. just to save him from his mediocrity in so many words. he also told me that he was hoping that maybe someday a person would meet him and know that it was him that they had been praying for (he had his name on the card). and that he would be really encouraged by God using that simple card.  well he went to this "gathering" and this guy was sharing about how he had been praying through some of those cards. lo and behold, he began to tell the whole group of people about my friend's card and how it genuinely touched him. as my friend heard this speaker talk about his simple but awesome request, he said that he was straight up in tears. how could he not be. God had heard his prayer that someone would care when they read that request and it turned out that God cared and so did this speaker. my friend told me that it was like God was speaking to him saying, "I love you despite everything." how awesome is it that a little prayer card could totally rock my friend's life. as i sit here thinking about him and the work God is doing in him. i am in tears of joy, so that prayer card rocked my life too. my buddy told me about a video him and i watched a few days ago that talked about the power of a prayer. i hope it encourages you as it encouraged us. friend, i love you. thank you for being an awesome mouthpiece to God's work in the earth. 

- peaks out

check out this link for the power of a prayer: 

How He Loves - John Mark McMillan

70 degrees in february.

so february is supposed to be a winter month. why in the world is the weather as hot as the summer. 

all day today it has been too warm to even think winter. i hate it when the weather is not complimentary to the season that is associated with it. for some reason things seem to be all out of whack when it comes to the weather. it seems that the two places i have ever lived have moody weather. winter is supposed to be about snow, coldness, and maybe even rain in that super cold way. why wouldn't february rock that kind of weather? it does seem to always kick in when you don't want it to. hey, i guess that's okay though. the unexpected cold weather or lack thereof is just another part of the crazy world we live in. welcome to february. wear your shorts with a scarf. 

- peaks out. 

simple things.

it's the simple things in life that make everything better. 

i love the most random things. and probably the simpler the better. things that i have been enjoying as of late: post-its, micro sharpies, cancelled TV shows on DVD, used books. i don't know why things like this have been such a fascination to me, but they have. something about a post-its that just allows you to write down the mysteries of life, but not commit it to be part of the constitution. this must be course done with a micro sharpie, which allows you to be permanent but with the freedom of your words not being bold. now cancelled TV shows on DVD allows for the joy of the past to be enjoyed today (and as fast as you can cause you can watch them in a row). used books are incredible. i love that the used books you get have been thought of as someone else's junk, but you get to enjoy them for wicked cheap. 

anyways, so the moral of my randomosity is this: enjoy the simple things. 

- peaks out. 

high school.

so strange to think about high school. good old PCS. so long since i have been there. 

here i am 2 degrees away from high school and hoping to not remember it for it was crazy ridiculous and this weekend i not only participated in a conversation about high school, but i heard others discuss it as well. 

what is it about high school that we love to talk about? for me, i think it is that i love to recall how different i was then. comparing and contrasting the high school me with graduate school me. i see how naive i was in high school, how small my life was, how insignificant issues where, the list goes on. but the cool thing about it is this. we all went through that time in life, so we can all thank high school for getting us here. 

i know that i would not have done nearly as well in college as i did due to Mrs. Buck and Mrs. Karavias. They were my English and Chem/Physics/Precal/Calculus teachers. they instilled so much into my life allowing me to increase my scores, escape gen. ed. requirements, and know myself and where i was going into college. so i think of them often and applaud their wonderful impact on my life. 

i know that high school conversation brings back memories that are hard and painful as well. there were breakups, lost friends, detentions and punishment, proms, and gym class. these things did not nothing except prepare me for the world to come. it is okay to remember the hurt, it has only made you stronger. 

so i raise my glass to high school: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the mad, and i thank God that i don't have to live through that again. all the while celebrating where it has brought me. here. hear-hear. 

- peaks out. 

hugs.

i thought more about this word recently than ever before. thinking about what it says or even means. 

so what exactly is a hug? i think it is some sort of embrace that reveals friendship, kinship, agreement or maybe love. however, i found out that the expression of this level of embrace communicates so many things. i remember my junior year at college there was this guy, who was deemed the hug guy. He was all about a hug and basically would not let you walk by him without a hug. I am still uncertain why he was a hugger, except maybe he loved the feeling of having brothers in his life, since he grow up sans them. the funny thing is that although people disdained those crazy hugs, they began to warm up to them. probably cause they saw the coolness of the hug. 

i know some men struggle with hugging, however, i think that you should just get over your fear. it really isn't that bad and you definitely feel that you are in the brotherhood when a hug is given or received. it's like you are family with people. however, there are many kinds of hugs:

there are long hugs that seem to encapsulate your soul, there are short hugs that show care in a hurry. then there are some crazy ones. there is the infamous "koala," where you wrap your legs around the person you are hugging (i only recommend this for your girlfriend/wife to partake in). then i saw this couple this weekend that showed me the "body hug" where you hug with both arms and then you hug with your knees as well. i laughed so hard at the sight of these people hugging. there is the ever safe, three pat hug that most men engage in that says basically, you're the man (as if they are communicating in the pats), that doesn't make the other feel awkward. 

what i found that is that every person hugs different. a hug sorta becomes the way a person expresses how they embrace you in their life. how accepting they are, how comfortable they feel, how much they care are a few revelations that come forth in a hug. so don't hesitate to hug someone like you mean it. this is really about that, and hugging isn't really about touching, it is about the relationship that you have with people. 

- peaks out. 

P.S. if you are not a hugger, i understand. i used to not be. however, i quelled my fears and have no regrets. if it is that scary, try hugging yourself. work into it. once you feel comfortable go and hug the world. you won't be sorry. 

home.

so this weekend i went back to my old home. 

i traversed from my present place of residence and reentered the world of college again. let me first say it was bliss. i love the people, the little of a town it is, the scenery, and the local variety. i don't know what it is, but i enjoy it. but while i was there i was talking to people about how i still don't feel that my current home is really home. i mean it is, but it isn't simultaneously. 

however, my college world can't be home either, because i am not there. right? so i began to ask myself where home really is. Of course the banal axioms came to my such as "home is where your heart is" or other ridiculous things like that. I rolled my eyes at the thought of those sayings. then i think i thought i would try to come up with my own witty saying about home.

i quickly recoiled from that inclination thinking that my saying would also become trite upon eternal usage (even though i am the only one who would probably utilize it). i threw caution to the wind and decided to write it down anyways. it might sound lame or corny, but i think i really am believing today. i believe it because i know it to be true in my life and experience and plus it seems to propagate my Buberian philosophical perspective of I-Thou. 

Therefore, home is where you are. Not me, but you. It doesn't matter where I am, but it does matter where you are. Home is where people are. Especially the people you love and feel the most at home with. They each hold a bit of your home in their life. You might see, feel, experience, think about it depending on their actions, conversations, embraces, etc. You just know that when you are with them, you are home. 

i am going to spend time with some people and welcome myself home. hope you enjoy the same. 

- peaks out.