Proverbs 18:1-2 says, “whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. a fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.”
well unfortunately i couldn’t get to part 3 yesterday, so here it is. if you don't remember, i spoke that moving from isolation to understanding was a choice, and friggin’ hard one at that. now i want to take a little time to talk about the second verse.
well, i will say honestly, as a person who has valued academics my entire life, seeing myself as a fool was brutal. but in accordance with the first verse, i am a fool. a fool is one of the strongest insults in Scripture; and foolishness and godliness never coexist. i found myself insulted by Scripture calling me a fool, then i realized that i am not as “godly” as i wish i was.
as a professional fool, i have let the expression of my own opinion become paramount to every conversation. in high school, i always wanted the right answer. i always wanted to debate and argue and fight with everyone about everything. i still retain some of these tendencies, but normally only when i am in "isolation mode." see, when i am by myself, who do i talk to and argue with, but myself? some of this self-dialogue is good to work out thoughts, but when it transpires in community, let’s just say that everyone gets hurt.
i once heard a great man say, “just because i have an opinion doesn’t mean i have the right to voice it.” it does not matter if i have all the right answers and all of academia is behind me. am i willing to place knowledge in front of relationship? will i allow my opinion to cause condescension or others to be hurt by my strong convictions? it is interesting that Jesus had strong convictions but he didn’t coerce others to buy into them. we don’t have to fight with others to find validation, worth, or recognition.
i ask many of these questions due to being in university for the 3rd time now. since being so inundated with school. honestly, i could easily be satisfied with only having books as friends. i admit this very hesitantly, but both in high school and most of my life growing up, my books were my friends. Or rather the characters in them were these friends. i fell in love with cosette, juliet, wendy, esmeralda, cora, and isobel (izzy). i was best pals with quasimodo, peter pan, aramis, natty bumppo, and of course, peter hatcher. my world has often been in the world of books and not in reality. i can argue with the book and they not argue back. but people, they are not that simple. despite the simplicity of books, i do not wish to remain in that place of un-reality, nor do i wish to retain the title of a fool.
this first hit me as a freshman small group leader at Liberty U. (PL for those who speak "Libertyese"). i was very “knowledgeable” of Scripture, which i guess lead my leadership on my hall to choose this heady freshmen to lead a group of guys. i kept thinking, "God, i don’t know how to do this." i was worried every week that i wouldn’t say the right thing or that i would just push them away with my thoughts.
then God taught me something in Jn. 13. he loved his own until the end. i decided that people had to be the most important thing in my life. and i exchanged my former friends for people like joe, jordan, bernie, josh, chris, marcus, eric, and others form dorm 6. as i began to attempt to love these people, i found that caring about them was the most important thing. “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” (John Maxwell). Stephen Covey said it like this: “seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” these two thoughts empowered by Jn. 13 blew my mind on how to live life.
this verse is an echo of these experiences for me. it reminds me that no matter how hard it is to be with people, that they matter more than anything. not just knowing them, but understanding them. to understand them, i have ask penetrating questions like: “what did that feel like?” or maybe, “why did you react like that?” these questions tell them, i do not want to just know their story, but i want to know the interpretation of their story.
understanding takes open ears and and open heart. i must weep with those who weep, celebrate with those who are joyful, and otherwise allow my emotions to be involved in knowing them. i know everyone bashes emotions, but i think that emotions reveal the truth in a very real way. this is why i cry when i laugh hard and more so when there is a loss. or why some punch holes in walls or curse at people (and sometimes God). my sense of reality is communicated by emotions.
understanding means that i am willing to do whatever it takes to figure the person out. it’s so covenantal. it’s like God saying, i know that in order for you to get this, i am going to have to send my son to experience this life so that you know i have experienced life so we may have mutual understanding. i mean isn’t that the point? i understand that God wants relationship and God understands how messed up i am without Him. understanding is like where the sphere of my life intersects with the sphere of someone else’s. those spheres then fuse together and share some sort of commonality. i want to live in that place. Martin Buber calls this place of shared relationship, dialogue. He also says that it is the truest way of life.
i look at Jesus and i see him talking to the woman at the well, understanding her completely. i see him always asking and probing those around him. i see him extending his sphere to others so that they can connect. the subtext of Scripture reveals him embracing understanding in all of his journey. my favorite is when he speaks to the men on Emmaus and he basically says, "have you not even attempted to understand me with all of the law and the prophets?" and then he explains himself. i find Jesus taking pleasure in knowing people are knowing him.
i love that in hebrew and greek, there can be dual meanings in the word “to know.” in some ways it means gaining knowledge, but often it also means being intimate (sometimes even with sexual connotation). i find myself asking if my dialogue is to know people or just to express my thoughts.
all this to say, that i believe the principle thing is understanding. acts 2 speaks powerfully of the work of the Spirit and it says that they spoke in other tongues, but that all that heard them were able to understand. i just wonder if the Spirit would light upon our lives in such a way that we lived with understanding, instead of coercing others to agree with us.
understanding takes me beyond isolation and sets me in the context of relationship. to be able to make connections with others not just on the tangible, but the intangible level will be indicative of a wise one. i want to understand and be wise and embrace the community and its judgments. even more so, i want to understand Jesus and be listening for his voice, looking for his face, grasping for his hand, so that i will be different. he understands me. and he understands you. and since i am hearing his voice, seeing his face, grasping his hand, he teaches me the knowledge of himself, which speaks and says, i’m not the only one he loves and understands. he understand and loves you. and therefore, i want to love you too. so i pledge to move from isolation to understanding, not because i am commendable, but because i am in him and being in him means being with you.
-peaks out.
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