this might sound like some play on words or something, however i am serious. often i can see in my life that i question everything, but i do not ask questions. what is the motive for this occurrence. i think that today i realized that when you question things, that you are basically being selfish. you are aligning everything to your thoughts, your ideals, your perspectives. on the contrary, if you ask questions about their thoughts, their ideals, their perspectives, you might actually learn something, like how to be unselfish.
it is a tragedy that i question things. i don't mean to be selfish, but it is so deeply entangled into our lives, that it is hard work to change it. i have every means of wanting to be more interested in others than in propagating my thoughts. so i am going to attempt to ask more questions, in pursuit of seeking to understand instead of being understood. my goals in life have to be others focused more than me focused. i like to talk so sometimes this is hard and misconstrued. so i hope that people will see that my effort is to know them and what is really going on and not just see the gabby jason i can tend to be.
i wonder what it would be like to not be selfish at all. it is probably ridiculously overwhelming. the thought of really caring for others and being moved to the place that i am completely about them sounds exhausting. i welcome this wonderful challenge in my life. i want to be overworked because of love. well cause that is what this boils down to. love. i don't love you if i don't inquire about you. when i am questioning, i am loving myself. when i question you, i love you.
so i am going to attempt to stop and ask a question. maybe it will make a world of difference. i want to love you.
- peaks out.
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